Crazy Eyes Shows Them How It's Done
by JustMyLuckiness
Summary: After Castle convinced her to find a nonviolent solution to other women hitting on him, Kate figures out what to do with Serena Kaye as only she can.


**A/N: I know, I know. Another Crazy Eyes story, and you're rolling your eyes. I can't help it. This version of Kate is too much fun to write! **

**I have another chapter of Broken Road in progress, but my laptop died, so until I get a new one this weekend, all my notes are inaccessible. In the meantime, here we have Kate dealing with Serena Kaye in her own unique way. Some of the details have been changed for this new storyline, but nothing too much.  
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**This one skips back just before the Former Muse chapter, so they're not engaged yet. As usual, I don't own the show or characters, or even the Crazy Eyes concept - that's borrowed from Wepdiggy's wonderful Adorable Psycho.  
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* * *

The woman slowly woke up with a splitting headache. She saw from the decor that she was in her room, but something was very wrong. She looked around, trying to figure out more about her situation. Her hands were restrained behind her, looped through the back of the chair she was sitting on. Similarly, legs were somehow bound to the chair's legs, leaving her completely immobilized. Something made of silk or nylon was tied around her head and inside her mouth, effectively gagging her.

The chair itself faced the bed. Her bed, upon which two people were currently engaged in extremely enthusiastic sex, if the woman's cries and the man's grunts were any indication. After a minute of concentration, she recognized the bouncing coffee-colored locks spilling down the upright woman's back, but when she looked at the man lying beneath her, she knew who they were.

If the gag weren't preventing her from speaking, she would have started shouting obscenities.

* * *

_The previous day…_

Ryan and Esposito waited for Beckett to head into Captain Gates' office to update her on the art gallery case before standing up as one and walking over to her desk. The chair next to her desk, specifically, and its occupant.

"Castle. Break room. Now," Esposito grunted without preamble. Castle followed him with Ryan bringing up the rear, not allowing Castle an escape route.

When they got into the fortunately empty break room, Ryan closed the door and shut the blinds. Castle looked amused at the steps they were taking for privacy. "What's up, guys?" he asked with a smile as he leaned against the table.

Sharing a look with Ryan, Javier took the lead. "You gotta talk to her, man. This can't keep going on."

"What, ah, what are you talking about?" some of the jocularity went out of Castle's expression as he took in the grim expressions on his two friends.

"The killing, man! She can't keep going around offing your exes," Ryan looked around, his nervousness at being caught out showing in his jerky movements and the sheen of sweat on his forehead.

"She's not 'offing' all of my exes," Castle retorted, rubbing his hands through his hair, "Kate just got caught up in the moment a couple of times…" he trailed off, knowing how absurd his thoughts were.

"A couple of times, bro? She's a homicide detective who's killed two people herself without any real threat," Esposito rumbled with his arms crossed.

Rick heaved a sigh. "All right, all right. I'll talk to her, ok? But I can't really make any promises. She gets a little crazy when she thinks there's a reason to be jealous."

"So don't give her a reason, dumbass," Javier shot back.

"I don't!" Castle protested right back, "She just invents them sometimes."

Ryan's nerves finally got the best of him. "Oh come on, man!"

With a laugh, Castle got a mischievous expression. "Thing is, boys? Remember what I told you once about Meredith, crazy people, and world-rocking sex?" The two detectives looked vaguely uneasy, but like a train wreck, they couldn't turn away from Rick's next comment, "That crazy bitch has nothing on Kate Beckett when she's jealous of something. I'm talking life-altering," he finished with a grin and a wink.

"Dude! She's like our sister!" Esposito groaned as he put his head in his hands.

Castle got an evil grin. "You, my friends, have a very hot sister."

"Not cool, man. Not cool at all," Ryan chimed in as he moved toward the door, "Just get her to not kill people!"

Castle's laugh followed them both out the door.

* * *

Later that evening, basking in the afterglow of a round of drilling that left him searching for words to describe who was actually doing the drilling, he thought back to the confrontation in the break room. Maybe it would be better if they talked it out and found a way for her to channel her energies into something other than murder.

"Sweetheart?" he asked as he caressed Kate's back with one hand, trailing his fingertips lightly down her spine as his other hand combed her hair with his fingers.

"Mmmmm?" she purred in response, shivering under his touch as she played with his chest hair.

"I was wondering," he paused, looking for the right words, "Do you think maybe you could try not to kill anyone anymore?" _Lame, Castle. Way to sound like a teenager._

"What are you talking about?" Kate asked, stopping her gentle caresses.

"It's just that I worry sometimes. You're just looking out for us, our relationship, I know," he said with the tone of a man about to step into shark-infested waters, "but if you got into trouble, I don't know what I would do without you."

Kate sat up, unconcerned that the falling sheet bared her chest. "You…you're really asking me not to take out potential threats?"

"Well, not violently, anyway. You're a cop, you know how this works. Eventually they're going to catch up to you, and I just don't know if that would be good," he soothed, stroking her back to calm her.

"I love you, Rick, and those…pretenders…from your past need to understand that you are mine and I am yours," she said with a nearly-vibrating tension and a furrowed brow, "and if I have to take one or two out to make sure they understand that…" she didn't finish the thought.

"What if there was another way to get that point across?" he asked with a kiss to her shoulder.

"Another way? Hmmm," Kate thought, tapping her chin thoughtfully.

"It's just that I think I would like it better, that I would sleep better at night, knowing you weren't out there killing women, you know?" he tried to persuade her further.

"And if you slept better, you'd be happier, right?" she asked in a quiet voice, but one with determination behind it.

"Right," Castle answered, not quite sure where she was going and slightly uncomfortable with the tone in her voice.

"And a happy Castle means more sex for me, right?" she said in a throaty whisper that had his heart beating faster.

"Yeah, that would address all our problems, don't you agree?" In retrospect, he was proud that he was able to ask her that without his voice cracking, especially the way her hand trailed south from his chest.

Her throaty whisper turned into a purr again before her face lit up with an evil grin as an idea obviously occurred to her. "Of course! It's perfect!" she wrapped her arms around his neck and drew him into a passionate kiss.

Castle was worried for a minute, but shrugged it off and responded to her, allowing her to straddle him for another round.

* * *

"Nothing so far. You find anything?" Esposito looked at Kate as he walked into the bedroom area of the suite, warily keeping an eye on his growling superior.

When she opened the drawer full of multicolored lace panties, garter belts, and bustiers, the growl got deeper instead of just louder, "No," her mouth held the position for so long a bead of saliva dripped down her chin.

The whole image was enough that he had a flashback to raiding an apartment in his early career as a beat cop. The resident kept a Rottweiler for protection, but when they entered the place, the dog started emitting almost the exact same growls. Esposito took a step back and made sure both his hands were free, just in case she started throwing things. He struggled with the urge to try to calm her down, which warred with his instinct to keep all his limbs attached to his body. "He doesn't even want to get to see those, boss," he said softly.

"I know he doesn't," she shot back, slamming the drawer with far more force than was realistically necessary. At least Castle was wired. She and Esposito, plus Ryan down in the tactical van monitoring the whole operation, were able to hear everything he said. It was clear to her the flirting was faked and he was obviously uncomfortable. That knowledge was of small comfort to her as she listened to another woman, a _blonde_, flirt shamelessly with her man.

Esposito smirked as he backed off, heading into the closet to start looking through Serena's luggage while Kate moved to the desk to start examining the electronics.

Just then, they both heard Castle and Serena through their microphones, "So you were kind of like the female Indiana Jones, only without the hat and whip."

When Serena replied, "Well, without the hat," Kate slammed the dresser drawer shut and headed to look through more of Serena's electronics, cursing under her breath. Esposito kept grinning at the steam practically trailing behind her as she growled something about the 'skanky blonde' involving a wood chipper.

After scanning her iPad and finding the links to Falco, she called out, "I think I found something," but when she went to tell him about it, they heard more conversation. When Castle tried to prolong dinner with dessert and Serena suggested they order the strawberries through room service with extra whipped cream, Kate snapped.

She stormed over to the walk-in closet Esposito was digging through to tell him about Serena being linked to the fence she told them about, but when the door opened her growl kicked up another notch. She walked into the closet and saw even more of Serena's extensive lingerie collection hanging on hangers and tucked into suitcases. "What does this bitch do with her evenings? Moonlight as an escort? Maybe we should bring Vice into this one," she mused, "anyway, I think I found our connection. A message between Serena and a bunch of fences. Guess who's trying to sell D-flawless diamonds?"

Javier just let her fume before pointing to the collection of thievery equipment under the suitcase's false bottom. "I think I found something too. The tools of the trade. As well as an ISI," he grunted.

"I've seen enough. Let's get Castle away from her and drag her ass down to the precinct for a nice little chat," she decided as she whirled out of the closet.

* * *

Kate opened the suite door to head downstairs and break up the date when she stopped cold. Castle and Serena faced each other in the hallway approaching the rooms. At the motion of the door, the blonde turned. Seeing Kate coming out of her suite – which she thought was empty while on a date with Rick – she flinched. Kate saw something harden in her eyes, and in a split second, the blonde made her decision. She wrapped her fingers in Castle's lapels and crushed their lips together, keeping her eyes constantly on Kate's stunned face.

It took another split second for Kate to make up her own mind. Her eye twitched, and with a feral shout, she reared back, and when Serena broke the kiss she landed a fist squarely on her jaw. All three men jumped at the noise of the impact. Serena on the other hand dropped like a rock as her eyes rolled back in her head. The sound of her body hitting the floor was almost as loud as the noise of Kate's punch.

Sparing one glance at the unconscious blonde, Kate stepped up to her boyfriend. Castle almost took a step back at the wanton desire in her eyes, but she wrapped one arm around his neck and the other his waist. The kiss put Serena's paltry effort to shame, complete with tongues, moans, and wandering hands.

She broke the lip-lock and turned to the side, spitting loudly. "Blech. You taste like blonde," she growled before shoving her tongue down his throat again. When she was done, Castle's eyes were glassy, he had a grin, and he was humming softly. Kate had to hold him upright as his knees wobbled.

"Much better," she smirked, smacking his ass.

Just then, Ryan hustled up the hallway to join them. "What the hell happened here?"

Esposito jerked his head toward the crumpled heap on the floor. "She kissed Castle."

"Ouch. She got off easy, though. You mellowing, Beckett?" he joked, but Kate's returning glare cut that short, "Sorry. So what do we do with her?"

Kate's eyes gleamed. "Oh I know just what we can do," she turned to Castle, "You're going to be so proud of me!"

Rick's eyebrows shot up as he rejoined the world and their conversation. He started slightly when he saw Serena in a heap on the floor, but one look at Beckett brought his focus back. "Ok, I'm all ears." Ryan and Esposito looked interested as well.

She looked back at her boyfriend. "You wanted me to come up with a nonviolent solution, right? Well I have one. I have one that will show her you are mine and I am yours, just like you suggested."

The two other detectives looked at the writer, small amounts of accusations in their eyes.

"Ah, well, ok, sweetheart. Um, what's your idea?" Rick stammered.

"We make her watch," she declared, the grin taking up half her face as she bit her bottom lip.

"Watch…?" Castle trailed off, guessing what she meant but slightly unnerved by it.

"M-hmm," she kept the grin as she brazenly cupped his ass and squeezed.

Esposito shook his head and looked down in some disgust. "Man, that's freaky shit right there."

Beckett rolled her eyes. "Are you forgetting that Lanie is my best friend? She told me all about your little role-playing escapades, _Zorro_."

Castle and Ryan turned to look at Esposito with cocky smirks. Javier just stared in horror at Kate, turning only when Ryan chimed in, "Zorro, really? You mean with the mask and hat and everything?" he gestured to his eyes.

"It was one time! She swore she wouldn't tell anyone!" Esposito was muttering and growling to himself as he stalked off down the hall.

Without missing a beat, Kate turned to the other detective. "Oh, and Honey Milk? Jenny would probably get a lot more relaxation out of the honey if you drizzled it all over her and licked it off, like chocolate syrup, right?"

Ryan's eyes flashed indignantly. "She _told _you about that?" he started to think, "Wait, wouldn't it take a lot longer to lick the honey off than chocolate?"

Kate looked at him for a minute, willing him to understand. When he didn't, she just cocked an eyebrow. "Isn't that kind of the point, detective?"

His eyes got even bigger. Without another word he turned on his heel and dug out his cell phone. The last Castle and Kate heard of him was his call to Jenny, "Hey hun? How close is the nearest all-night grocery store?"

Castle was still watching him when Kate's voice, which was considerably more soft and seductive than when she was talking to Kevin and Esposito, wafted to his ear. "Castle? You want to pick that up off the floor and join me?"

When he turned around, all he saw was Kate's swaying hips head back into the suite, hand cuffs twirling around her right index finger. He couldn't throw Serena over his shoulder fast enough.

* * *

**A/N: And there we go! Kate found a nonviolent way to show another blonde skank who really runs the show regarding Castle. I'll post a timeline on my profile, since I'm skipping around a bit.  
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**Hope you enjoyed! Please leave a review if you did!**


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